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Audi Q7 V12 Tdi Excess Your Flexible Friend

With 500bhp and 1000Nm of torque, the Audi Q7 V12 TDI, is by most rational measures, almost pornographically over-endowed. While some will see it as a grotesque manifestation of all that is wrong with modern car manufacture, those who have driven it will tend to disagree. There's something illicitly addictive about this much power.

Many thought a high water mark had been reached with powerful SUV diesel engines when Volkswagen launched the 5.0-litre V10 Touareg, powered by a 313bhp unit. This reigned supreme for some time but was eventually swamped by Audi's 322bhp powerplant fitted to the Q7 4.2TDI that has since been upgraded to 335bhp. At the 2008 Geneva Show, the wraps came off a Q7 that blew both out of the water with a veritable tsunami of power. Packing fully 495bhp and a monstrous 1000Nm of torque, the Q7 V12 TDI is a vehicle that borders on the caricature.

In time, no doubt, this engine will be just a footnote in history. For the time being at least, this looks to be the Bob Beamon leap, the Michael Johnson 200m of big 4x4 diesels. In other words, I can't see it relinquishing its title any time soon. BMW and Mercedes must be wondering what has just hit them.

The figures for the Q7 V12 TDI make jaw-dropping reading. Despite weighing more than some tectonic plates, it'll get to 60mph from standstill in 5.2 seconds. That's as quick as a Porsche 911. It will also effortlessly butt into its 155mph electronic speed limiter. Even with its enormous frontal area, mere wind resistance does little to dent the impact of 1000 newton metres of torque. Let's put that figure into perspective. Not with sports cars that are all power and no torque; no, let's think about the raw muscle an engine can generate. How about with the top of the line supercharged Range Rover V8? That manages a mere 625Nm. Now are you getting the picture?

The best part about this engine is that the vast reserves of torque allow it to run at low engine speeds while still generating all that muscle. In fact, you need barely exceed tickover as peak torque is available anywhere between 1,750 and 3,000rpm. In order to cope with this much weight and this much power, the Q7 V12 TDI needs massive brakes and nestling behind the 20-inch alloys are carbon ceramic discs, largely resistant to heat fade and corrosion, which have an operating life of 185,000 miles.

\"The figures for the Q7 V12 TDI make jaw-dropping reading….\"

As good as the Q7 is on longer runs, get it in town or in tighter country lanes and you'll soon appreciate that it's a sizeable thing. You'll probably look at two or three parking spaces before finding one that the big Audi will fit into and that gets tiresome quickly. It runs on a stretched version of the Volkswagen Touareg chassis and features a seven seat configuration, making it ideal for bigger families. If you can get away from the rugged mud plugging mentality and instead think of it as a multi-purpose estate car on growth hormone, you'll bond with the Q7 a whole lot quicker. Even its styling seems to distance it from off-roaders.

The latest models display the results of a mild facelift with the key changes being more shapely bumpers incorporating under-body protectors and LED rear light clusters. Inside, the instrument cluster and the controls have been redesigned and nudged up market. The coupe-like dipping roofline isn't standard 4x4 fare, nor are the resolutely horizontal shoulders. Audi even offer contrasting body colours in a bid to emphasise the car's shapely profile. Audi claim 28 seating and loading configurations are available in the Q7 and the seats in the second row are adjustable for fore/aft movement. This allows Audi to not only lay claim to the most generous second row legroom in the class but also - with the second row slid forward and the rear folded - to also pinch first prize for luggage capacity, a huge 775 litres.

Verano leather wraps most of the Q7 V12 TDI's cabin, covering the seven electrically adjustable sports seats to the centre and door armrests. This is complemented by carbon fibre inlays, aluminium air vents and stainless steel pedals. The exterior gets 20-inch ten-spoke alloy wheels, wider wheel arches, a chromeplated grille, big bore exhausts and LED daylight running lights. If this all sounds a little extrovert for your tastes, there are always less overt Q7 models to choose from. The V12 TDI revels in its own outlandishness.

There are, nevertheless, some extremely thoughtful touches to the Q7. The ability to raise the tailgate from the keyfob is one that draws jealous glances from other 4x4 owners. Likewise, the ability to raise the car on its air suspension going from autoroute bullet to almost monster truck clearance in a matter of seconds is also something it's tough to get tired of. What really impresses about the Q7 though is just how accessible all of these systems are. Yes, there are manuals in the glove box that together total over 700 pages but you'll rarely need to consult them. Unlike in a rival BMW or Mercedes, there are very few times when the control systems flummox you.

This vehicle, while extreme, isn't utterly devoid of environmental credentials. It'll average 25mpg on the combined cycle, which isn't bad for a car that can carry seven in comfort and is in fact better than many far more modest people carriers. What's more, because it has so much torque, you'll rarely need to mash the throttle pedal to make respectable progress. Choose an underpowered vehicle and when you load it to the gunwales, you'll need to thrash the engine to within an inch of its life with predictably dismal results in terms of economy and emissions.

The latest version of this engine benefits from Audi's energy recovery system which uses kinetic energy that would otherwise have been lost to charge the battery, cutting emissions and improving economy in the process. Insurance is not a trifling matter and even a car as impressive as this is not immune to quite hefty depreciation, especially as the tide of public opinion may well swing against such vehicles.

There is no need to own an Audi Q7 V12 TDI. It is an absolutely and totally gratuitous thing but in being so, it becomes strangely appealing. Somewhat surprisingly for Audi, it's far from the acme of refined taste but is nevertheless an embodiment of a certain kind of hedonism. With 495bhp under the bonnet and a mammoth 1000Nm of torque, it's more a force of nature than a consumer durable. Economy is surprisingly good for a vehicle with such grotesque musculature, the Q7's 25mpg combined figure being better than a Nissan Murano - not a car that tends to have the green lobby up in arms.

As a celebration of Le Mans-inspired engine technology and a riot of excess, the Q7 V12 TDI can't fail to raise a smile. It'll sell in such tiny numbers that its environmental impact will be negligible. Audi made this vehicle just because they could and there's something refreshingly honest about just such an attitude.

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